I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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