he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
