I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
