I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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