And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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