I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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