Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
