how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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