Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
