Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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