Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
