I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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