sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
