another moral hangover. fuck.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
