I showed him my bush... on skype.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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