come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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