Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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