I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
