anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
