Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
