I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
