i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
