I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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