i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
