thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
