but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You may now shotgun with the bride
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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