Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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