Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
