I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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