what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize