We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
