I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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