She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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