Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The power of my boobs compel you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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