its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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