After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
