sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
nutella sex= disaster
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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