Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
