Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
