Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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