If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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