is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
