I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize
