Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
