STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
try to milk me bitch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
