just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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