The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
