who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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