i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
