What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
