remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
