I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Say something about gay babies.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
