Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
