his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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