She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
