the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
